I didn’t sign up for this:

My thoughts turned darkly, I didn’t sign up for this. I put another shirt in the drawer, I’m not asking for much. Sigh. I didn’t sign up to be alone, to do all this alone.

But I did sign up for this. I signed up for “For better or worse”, I signed up for in sickness and health, and we’ve had plenty of that. I wonder what he didn’t think he signed up for? Was a messy house not in his plans? Did he think that going to work everyday whether he felt good or not entitled him to a hot meal on the table and at least a small spot on the couch to sit at? I’m going to guess yes. So maybe, I need to change my mindset and my focus, to serve in sickness and health, through good and bad, till death do we part. And honestly, I would like more of all of that over many days alone for real. Because, when I really ask for help, he really helps, and if I really was alone there would be no one to hear me.


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