What my healthy looks like

…hint, it’s not what the experts say it is.  My healthy weight is somewhere between 154 and 185. The “experts” say I should weigh around 135 but I’ve never been that weight (not since passing it around 16 or 17) and gotten there by being healthy. In my early twenties, after the heartbreaking demise of my first relationship, I didn’t eat much for about a month and lost a lot of weight. I got to about 129 then. But, I wasn’t healthy at that weight. So, my eventual goal is somewhere between those two numbers. Right now, my goal is to get under 200, like 199.9.  And it’s not to look fabulous, because, duh, I rock this shit, but because part of how I look and my weight are outward signs that I am not ideally (my ideal) at a healthy weight. I want to do many things, accomplish so much around here, I enjoy walking and hiking and want to do it with out feeling like I’m going to die. Die.

Some people have some special quote that gives them encouragement and some people have a special person that helps push them along each day. In my head, I have a snide, little, oriental man saying: “But, did you die?” (See The Hangover to understand that quote.) No I didn’t die, I felt like I might, or that my lungs my jump out of my body and attempt to breathe separate from me, but I didn’t die.

My goal is to feel comfortable.  To not have to pick up my belly that now hangs over the top of my pants, just to get my pants buttoned.  I want to be able to comfortably wear my clothes. I have many cute “favorite pieces”, as I like to refer to favorite clothes, that I haven’t been able to wear for a number of years, plus, I’d like to comfortably wear my wedding ring, and be able to take it off and on.

I’d also like to make sure that my weight is such that my head is the right size for my body, being neither too big or too small. Don’t hate me, you know you’ve seen the super skinny (usually gal) with the overly sized head because, well, they need to eat.  And, you know, you’ve see the person with the unusually small head on top of their excessively sized bodies.  Me, I’m not looking for perfection, just looking for a comfortable weight where my head still looks like it is the right size. Goals. These are mine. Simple. Clear (ish). Entertaining (because laughter keeps me going). I’m going to take that hill and own it, at least that’s what I say to my daughter. To my friends, I might say something less lady-like because my friends and I are funny.

I want to add another goal, since this post has been sitting in the draft folder for more than a week, and I’ve had more time to think.  My goal is to show our kids an example of how to be healthy, how to get more out of life than can be found on the couch; I want to be an example in the physical life of what I want to be in the spiritual life: how to live a life that leads to eternal life.  Two fine points: in the physical realm, our lives will end some day, however, with proper diet and exercise (and a few other things), one can live to a very ripe old age. On the spiritual side, I do not indicate that I (or anyone else) can work my way to heaven, but I can work my way away from heaven by living a life of sin or a life of lukewarm. In order to enter heaven (and be with our Lord for eternity) some day, I believe a life lived searching for Him in the everyday, in His word, as I live and breath, and a life lived showing His love will inevitably end at the foot of His heavenly throne.

So, I will end this post here. It’s late and I will, no doubt, make some edit or another to this post tomorrow when the lights I see are not from cars passing by out in the dark, from my computer screen, and from that one leaning lamp that puts off a soft glow perfect for soothing sleep resistant children and mothers trying to get one more thing done.

Serenity and Bergamot oil here I come. Oh, and sleep, I think I’ll get some of that.

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