Sometimes they are down right terrible. When number 2 is all excited to be dropped off at Sunday school at Grandma’s church but becomes confused because his preschool is also located here and then becomes upset, when he also realizes that you are leaving him there to go drop sister off at our Church. We tried, we tried to leave him (with Grandma) at church but then he couldn’t calm, he couldn’t contain himself and I returned. All the getting in and out of the car was too much for baby who screamed bloody murder as only a baby can. Our boy was calm when I got back to him, maybe 15 minutes later, but was still wound up, running off, getting ready to attend church with Grandma even though I had already told him that we wouldn’t be staying.
Then in to the car again to listen to baby scream again. It’s really practically his nap time, but if we go home first to lay him down, we will be really late and I’m not sure how awake Daddy will be, so we go to church, my stomach churning to the sound of baby’s whaling. Oh the frustration, oh the absolute stomach wrenching dread that I felt driving across town. I wanted to turn towards home. How can it get better? But, as I finally turned into the parking lot at my church, I felt peace. Great peace.
I felt foolish, too, going in. Trying to decide if I was crazy to take the kids in to Church with how frustrated I already was. But then my sister and one of her daughters were there and the kids decided to follow them in to their pew. It was a blessing. I don’t remember what the scripture verses all were, something about being a good steward. And, after all the trauma from this morning, they were pretty good in church, even the baby who was more interested in licking me while trying to kiss me during church then screaming.
We survived. And I found some peace for my day and for my week. I didn’t want my kids’ church experience memories to be littered with memories of being yelled at after church for their naughty behaviors during church. So I’ve been working on their behaviors, and it’s getting better most Sundays, except last Sunday when I myself melted in a puddle on my kitchen floor; in my defense it was the day before my hubby’s surgery and there had been a death in the family a few months before that I’ve still been struggling with. Apparently last Sunday was the day to let it all out.
Thankfully, hubby is better ish and our kids are pretty great for the most part. I had to work out in the yard and so they stayed in the house with him while I was out there running some large equipment. When I came back in, Mr #2 had been put to bed for melting. Shocker. He fell asleep and slept until I put the other kids to bed.
And he got up very sweet. Ate and ate and ate the spaghetti I had made for dinner (that he slept through) and was as sweet as could be. He was a blessing to be around. He asked me silly questions and played around the living room with me, even came back to hug me after he had gone to bed. A special hug and a lot of love. He even said silly things to me, like, “Remember when you took me to that country that I have never been to?”
What the heck? This boy has struggled through learning to talk, and using words that are basic and he pulls that out of the air. Oh how I love him. This morning I struggled with wanting to beat him (I didn’t) and feeling frustrated to my wits end, and then tonight he was the sweetest little boy ever.
Isn’t mom-life glorious? Ha ha ha Yeah, that’s what I was feeling today. I was so happy to go outside and just not worry about the kids inside while I did physical labor, which helps to clear the mind. My legs are sore. I’m tired, and a bit emotional, but ready for the new week, ready for going to the gym again with my favorite oldest sister, and hoping that hubby starts to really feel better. Hoping. He’s been awfully stern looking. Eight years in to our family and marriage, I’ve learned to ask him if his grumpy face is him hurting or him mad at me. He’s been in a lot of pain. I’m glad it’s not me. And he’ll be proud of the job we’ve (the neighbor and I) done on our fence.
We will see how tomorrow goes. I’ve mixed up a new blend of oils for my carpal tunnel/nerve pain that starts in my neck and shoots back up from my fingers. Unfortunately I mixed it too strong and will have to cut it a bit with more coconut oil in a larger roller ball bottle as it has caused a rash on my arm.
My #2 used my freshly cleaned sleeping bag and some blankets to make a nest on the couch. I think I will go sleep in it. I’m sure it will be lovely. He’s gone to bed, the others sound like they are sleeping, so I must go to bed. Thanks for listening, for reading my story. I’m hoping that my Sundays get better from here out, that my children remember Sundays as a wonderful day full of grace and love. Praying for better Sundays for you too.